How to Write a Query Letter: The Secret Sauce That Landed Me 8 Offers from Literary Agents

If you’re looking to land a literary agent and get traditionally published, I'm going to teach you the four-part structure you need to include in your query letter, plus the secret sauce I used that helped me to get 26 full requests and eight offers from literary agents. 

The query letter example I'm going to show you is the one that I wrote for my second book, which got me a six-figure two-book deal. (This is not the query letter for my first book, which got me eight offers from literary agents, but I do have a sentence-by-sentence breakdown of that in my online course Query Bootcamp, so check that out if you want more query letter writing advice).

And make sure to grab a copy of my free Query Letter Toolkit, which includes the full query letter template I am about to teach you below!

Breaking Into The Publishing Industry

Before I get into the query letter template, I want to share more about why the structure is so important!

Literary agents are flooded with query letters. Even the smallest deviation from the norm can be a red flag and might mean that your query letter that you've worked so hard on — and your book that you've worked even harder on — gets thrown in the trash!

The publishing industry is tough and literary agents are really judging a book by its cover, or rather—its query letter, (sorry, terrible joke!), so you want to make sure you include all of the elements I'm about to share.

Let’s get started!

The 4-Part Query Letter Structure

Your Query Letter Subject Line

You want this to read Query for: and then the literary agent's name, your book title in all caps, and, in parentheses, your genre. 

Here’s what that looked like for my book:

Now, onto the four elements!

Element 1: The Intro

You want to start out your query letter by personalizing it to the literary agent and letting them know that you're not just mass bcc-ing a bunch of agents. You want to show that you did your homework and you really think this particular agent is a good fit for your book.

(Some people include this personalization at the bottom of their query letter. That is fine as well, but definitely make sure to include it!)

You can mention an author or a book that the agent has repped or maybe a part of their wish list and why your book would be a good fit for them.

Next, you want a quick transition line, such as “I would love to offer WE SHIP IT for your consideration.”

Element 2: The Hook

And now we are at the most important part of the query letter: the hook. 

This is the part that actually pitches your book. It’s called the ‘hook’ because your goal is to hook the literary agent and make them need to read more!

But you don't have to include every single element of your book — that would actually be a bad thing to do. You want to give descriptive information so that the agent knows what's going on in your book and so that they're not confused. But the most important part is that you leave them intrigued and wanting more. 

Your hook is generally around 150 to 200 words, max. And it's really a test of your skills as a storyteller. Do you know how to synthesize what you have written into a really compelling summary, such as the blurb that you would find on the back cover of the book?

Your goal with the query letter is to get the literary agent to ask for your full manuscript. If they love your hook, that's what they're going to do!

1. Your Hook’s First Line

The most important part of your hook is the first line. Often this is where you're going to either include, or maybe lead up to, the inciting incident of your book. Because the inciting incident is the reason that you have a story at all. Think about The Hunger Games. There wouldn’t be a story without Katniss’s sister Prim getting chosen as tribute!

The way that I started out my query letter was:

The last place type-A overachiever Olivia Schwartz wants to be is on a cruise.

This gives a taste of what the inciting incident is going to be and also provides some defining details about our main character. Remember — you don’t want to tell the literary agent everything, but at the same time you want to make sure you include enough information to make your story stand out.

My inciting incident isn't some huge galaxy-ending inciting incident — it's not nearly as huge as the scene in The Hunger Games — but it is huge and galaxy-ending for the main character, Olivia. 

Your inciting incident really needs to be earth-shattering for your main character, even if it's not earth-shattering for anyone else.

2. Defining Your Main Character’s Old World

Next, you want to make sure you include some background info about the current state of your main character's life before this inciting incident, so the literary agent has a sense of why this is so earth-shattering.

I wrote:

Especially with her parents — and all the unspoken things between them since her older brother's death. 

Now we know why Olivia getting forced into close quarters with her parents for a week on a cruise ship is such a big deal.

Next, I established things a little bit more by telling what my story is about:

But when her parents win a free Caribbean cruise, it's all aboard for the Schwartz family.

We have the inciting incident, some revealing information about the main character, and we know why this is such a big deal for her. And that’s it! That's my first paragraph of my hook. 

3. Your Main Character’s New Plan

Next I get into the main character's plan and how they're trying to avoid this new world that is being thrust upon them: 

Olivia plans to spend the week holed up in her cabin with her research and her highlighters in her quest to get chosen for a prestigious medical internship.

This is some more defining information about our main character. She's not just some random teenager—she's a type-A overachiever. And not just any type-A overachiever but one who is trying to get a medical internship at 16. The type of person who goes on vacation and still breaks out her books and studies (not that I would know anything about that…).

4. Make Sure to Include Conflict!

You really want to ensure you get conflict into your query letter. You don't have to say everything that happens; you don't have to give anything away; but generally there should be some huge game-changing conflict that happens around a quarter or a third of the way through your story.

My query letter continues:

But then she meets Sebastian. He's everything Olivia’s not — charismatic, oddly interested in the cruise’s teen programs, and not afraid to take risks.

In my book, Olivia meeting this charming love interest is the first conflict she encounters after entering her new world (the cruise ship).

5. The Secret Sauce: Create an Emotional Heartbeat

Here it is. The secret sauce!

For the first time since her brother died seven years ago, Olivia feels like she can have fun.

Why is this the secret sauce? Because we are hitting on the emotional heartbeat of the story.

This isn't just a book report. We're not just saying things that happen. We're talking about why these events are so impactful for our main character. And we’re also going right back to the opening, by talking about her older brother's death. We don't yet know much, and we're not telling the agent everything — not even the name of the older brother or how old he was or how he died — but there’s enough here that—if you have a heart—you're thinking “Oh! I really want to know more.” 

6. End With Intrigue!

I finished my hook with: 

But there's a lot bubbling up under the surface on this cruise. And when past secrets begin to come to light, Olivia must face all the truths that she's ignored for so long: about herself, Sebastian, her brother, the past she thought she understood, and the future she thought she wanted.

We’ve got the literary agent hooked now! 

We haven't said what's coming, we're not confusing them, it's not just a bunch of rhetorical questions, and we're showing that there's a lot more to this book. They’ll just have to request the full manuscript in order to see how things play out!

Remember: This is your main goal of the query letter. To get the literary agent to want to read more and request your full manuscript. 

Element 3: Include Good Comps

Comps are books or other forms of media that you are comparing your book to, and you want to include two of them in your query letter. Your book isn’t supposed to be identical to your comps, but they should have something in common—similar thematic elements, settings, tones, etc. You want to show your literary agent where in a bookstore your book would be placed.

As a reminder, these can go before the hook or after.

In my query letter, I include them after:

Element 4: Add In Your Bio

You want to finish with a short one- or two-line bio. You can put anything you've published before, but don't worry if you haven't published anything. You just want one or two interesting details about your life, especially if they relate to why you are the person telling your story. 

My interesting detail was that I graduated with a degree in love and learned how to add all of the feels to my romantic subplots after founding a matchmaking startup. 

You’ll close out your query letter with a brief and friendly sign off like this:

Perfecting Your Query Letter

Query letters are so easy and fun to read! But actually sitting down and writing them takes a whole lot of work. Make sure to get tons of feedback on your query letter. Send it to friends and family; find people on social media to read it; share it with people who have read your book and people who haven't. 

Keep improving it—because this is your big shot with literary agents!

I’m Rooting For You!

I really hope this helped and best of luck on your querying journey! If you want even more resources—including the full text of this query letter, my query letter madlib generator, my top query letter writing resources, and my query letter template—make sure to grab a copy of my Query Letter Toolkit.